We give thanks for vampires, 800 year old Romanian castles and our guests, actress Musetta Vander and directors Scott and David Hillenbrand of the upcoming horror comedy feature, Transylmania.
As anyone in Los Angeles will tell you, Halloween in this city stretches pretty far past October 31. For us, it’s lasted well into Thanksgiving, as we hosted a troika of guests from the soon-to-be-released vampire spoof,Transylmania- in theaters December 4th, 2009.
Directors Scott and David Hillenbrand, actress Musetta Vander, Stuart Paap, Andrea Ball and Stu’s special friend, John “mall pose” Fulton.
We did kowtow a little to the current holiday. We effected this in true, grand LIVE! From the Future… style with Stu venting about the worst Thanksgiving side dishes ever. His candidates? Yams with those ugly little wet marshmallows.
Andrea Ball (andreaball.com) gets ready to take some live Instant Messages in her "Beat It" edition jacket. Smooth, criminal baby!
Our IM Girl for the evening, the lovely and vivacious Andrea Ball (substituting for Jessie Schneiderman), volunteered green beans as her least favorite side dish, and LFTF’s musical director, John Fulton, piped up that he hated cranberry sauce. Communist! At least that’s what I think he said; honestly, nobody pays him any attention when he’s not playing music.
John Fulton, the new spokesman for "Midnight Von Douche"
Jared "I brought the tripods and legal releases" Greenhouse shows us his one-handed technique.
Subsequent to this discussion, we welcomed Musetta Vander, one of the stars of Transylmania, who plays vampire hunter Teodora van Sloan (which, coincidentally, is also the name of John Fulton’s transvestite lounge singer alter ego).
Actress Musetta Vander, aka "Teodora Van Sloan" from the new comedy feature "Transylmania" talks about Zip Lining from a castle, training with knives and the countless ways she could punish Stu.
Cheerful Musetta talked about her experiences on the (freezing cold Romanian) set of Transylmania, which included delivering her lines in an Eastern European accent (hot!), taking sword fighting lessons for a month (er, not that kind of sword fighting), and training in martial arts.
Musetta Vander sharpens her fingers as she prepares to stab Stu in the neck - vampire-style.
Then it was time for Musetta to play: “Ikea or Romanian Town?” Thanks to our little quiz, Musetta is now well acquainted with the best cheap pillowcases the Swedes have to offer, and the countless Romanian towns that no one can pronounce. Who says you don’t learn anything on our show?
John tries to convince Andrea that some women actually like his sweater.
Next up were Musetta’s former bosses, Scott and David Hillenbrand, the directors of Transylmania. Scott and David have tag-teamed for over half a dozen movies, including National Lampoon Presents: Dorm Daze, and their collaboration reaches back far in the past - they’ve been making films together since childhood.
Scott and David Hillenbrand listen unenthusiastically to Stu's movie pitches, inlcuding: "Octopus Outfielder: the life and times of Duke McNutts", "Tardball", the unofficial sequel to Dodgeball and "Earnest goes to Hometown Buffet", the proposed 15th installment of the beloved "Earnest goes to..." series.
We tested just how strong those bonds really are by putting the brothers through our notorious “59 Second Gauntlet” (formerly the “60 Second Gauntlet”, now shaved for budgetary reasons). Scott fired off a few quick and theoretically correct answers, but David struggled to come up with a meaningful comeback or two - one stumper was, “Biggest jerk in high school?” Might I propose example “A” below?
John Fulton was a bouncer at LL Bean.
Wow, all that questioning and zip lining and Ikea catalog itemizing really made us hungry. We’re gonna feast for a few days, then we’ll see you at the usual time next Tuesday for a fresh new show. Until then, happy Thanksgiving from all of us LFTFers. Pass the yams and marshmallows, will ya?
Election day last Tuesday and we voted in a DOUBLE SHOW !
The 1st show was @8PM, and featured 2 guests: A)sitcom writer Andrea Abbate and B) actor Nicolas Wright, both from CBS’s hit comedy “Accidentally on Purpose” - (Mondays at 8:30 on CBS).
25% of the night’s guests was our first: comedy writer Andrea Abbate. Andrea works on the truly hilarious new CBS sitcom “Accidentally on Purpose” starring Jenna Elfman. Watch it after “How I met your mother” and then, just don’t leave the couch. “2 1/2 men” comes on after “Accidentally” and there’s your night!
Stu smiles through his botox while comedy writer Andrea Abbate waits patiently.
Stu grilled her mercilessly about her experiences on the show and the live chat room followed suit (we are a live and interactive show), but the most compelling question from the chatties - Do the actors ever bribe writers to get more lines? We can’t say what she said - but, if you’ve ever seen a corpulent comedy writer, you already know the answer.
Andrea Abbate, Nicolas Wright and Stuart “reflect”on the show.
Young actor Nicolas Wright was up next. Nicolas is Canadian, which makes him exotic, interesting, and possibly a Communist. (Hey, isn’t Stu Canadian? We’re calling a Mountie just to check if he’s on a milk carton.)
On Accidentally on Purpose, Nic plays Davis, a freeloading associate of the show’s lead character, Billie.
Nicolas plays the “slap skateboard” - angry letters from Victor Wooten followed. (Just Google “Victor Wooten Bass”)
Nicolas talked about getting started in acting, getting to L.A., and he brought TONS of SWAG - including several shooting signed scripts, 4 signed photos of the cast and, a working skateboard, that’s not only been used on the first 8 episodes, but was also signed by the show’s actors.
These prizes were given away to chat roomers who could answer Nic’s trivia questions about the show. Rumors abound that John Fulton used a series of chat room surrogates to claim several of the gifts; the LFTF Investigative Unit is currently conducting inquiries and taking DNA samples from cans of Evo to ascertain the truth.
John Fulton thinks about which John Mayer song to rip off. At least it wasn’t “Your body is a wonderland”
Actress Leyna Weber teaches Stu how to properly do the pottery scene from “Ghost”
Show number two got off to a kicking start - literally - with energetic guest Leyna Weber. She’s the star of the web series “Road to the Altar”, playing a stressed bride-to-be getting hitched to Jaleel White (Urkel in “Family Matters”). She also taught the Thriller dance, leading LFTF ace Producer LV, TheStream.TV’s Chloe and the ever-flexible Jessie.
Jessie wonders if “going commando” was a good idea after doing the Thriller dance.
Last (and definitely least - kidding, Hal!), it was time to EAT with actor and self-taught gourmet Hal B. Klein. Hal plays interesting characters in such films as Bottle Shock and Nobel Son, but is also a pretty deep character himself. He’s a self-professed history geek and a proficient cook in his free moments (Check out his website Thismanskitchen.com)
We made him prove his history geekitude in a rousing round of ‘Stache or not?, in which the object was, to identify which U.S. Presidents had facial hair. John and Stu made a wager to see if Hal was THAT good - John said: “Yes” and Stu said “No way!” Who won?!
Hal B Klein making organic basil-pesto sauce on LIVE! From the future…
Hal inquired whether or not Jessie wanted to taste his “sauce”.
This coming Tuesday, November 10th at 8PM - Comedians Mitch Fatel and Gary Cannon!
Kids - what a great show! We triple-strapped on our adult diapers and got right to the party! First up, we played a twist on an old classic chatroom game. It was You Supply the Setup! (See what we did there?) But things went a little more awkwardly than planned. Thanks chatroom! At leastJessie was back and looking buff from the bar method. I guess cutting out blow and booze does make a difference in your health… amazing.
(Jessie shows of her guns and sweet smile! Love you Schneiderpants!!!)
Then, Kevin G. Schmidt came on the show to discuss his funny and clever web series Poor Paul (Season 2 just released), which is about 3 roommates trying to co-exist. Check it out at PoorPaul.com or at Koldcast.TV
Kevin got his start in the business at age 10 and has been working ever since. He was in Cheaper by the Dozen, currently works on the Young and the Restless and is in the new Chipmunks movie which comes out around Christmas. Then we played a game called: He’s the Schmidt! where Kevin had to guess which other (much less) successful Kevin Schmidts were which. (It’ll make sense if you watch).
(Kevin and Stuart take quick power-naps in the middle of the show.)
Next up was the lovely and vivacious Kelly Stables. We talked about her impressive web series called Soul Fire Rising… She plays a winger in the series, which is a guardian angel, but things don’t go as planned. In the show she gets to hold a flaming blade of death, fight demons and even fly. Hey, I want that job!
(”No Stuart, I don’t want to play Bingo right now… we’re doing an interview.”)
Kelly also talked about her new Christmas movie on ABC Family, her extensive voiceover work, and what is what like to kiss Charlie Sheen on Two and a Half Men. Most importantly, we learn how to convince any woman to take her shirt off… it has something to do with wearing an earpiece.
From Showtimes’s WEEDS, actor Jack Stehlin!
Watch this episode on www.theStream.tv
Mr. DEA himself (with a secret) Captain Roy Till aka Jack Stehlin was our guest on Tuesday, June 16th at 8PM on TheStream.TV. Contrary to his character, Jack was laid back, fun and might have even partaken in some “herbal arts” before the show (I’m kidding, he got high after the show. Again, kidding. He got both of us high after the show. Ok, I’m done now. *Jack Stehlin doens’t do drugs and neither do I - Oxycontin isn’t a drug, right?)
(”See Stu, when you massage, start with the shoulders, then work your way down to the ass. Not the other way”.)
We learned a lot this show: That John Fulton is threatening to leave the show (something to do with cats?), how I met Brian on Craigslist, that I believe in marriage for all, legalizing prostitutionand (spoiler alert) everybody gets one legal murder per lifetime… who’s with me? Sadly, Jessie Schneiderman’s car broke down, but @JesV did a great job as our IM GIRL!
Lots of bits this show: Some interactive chat-room fun with If I were President, a show-n-tell bit Street Trash with Stu(sex, drugs and polar bears), and John phones it in with six semi-original songs. I got three words for you: John Cougar Mellencamp.
(Johnny “Cougar” Fulron warms up his pipes…)
Then it was time for our featured guest Mr. Jack Stehlin (pronounced Stay-lin). Jack was 100% game for everything – just about the coolest guy I’ve met in a while (sorry Carrot Top). He talked about his Serpico moment, playing college baseball, having a Great-Grandfather in the Circus, working with Al Pacino and obviouslyputting on a wig, getting naked in a cabinet and yelling on stage (You too? We have so much in common!)
(Jack Stehlin and Stuart Paap discuss acting, Showtimes WEEDS and Tibetan pan flauting.)
We played a game with Jack: Weed Shop or Stoner Band? (listen for John’s killer theme music, courtesy of the Mr. Zany’s Taco Shack in Orlando, Florida), checked in with Wikipedia to see if all the facts written about Jack were true in a segment called WIKI-TTY-FACT!, and last but not least, Jack taught the audience his patented: Jack Stehlin “Slow Burn” Technique!
(Stu prays for good questions while Jack contemplates which chatroom is the most coherent.)
Don’t let anybody ever tell you that trucker speed don’t work, ’cause we loaded up on it by the barrel (kidding, Mom) and brought the party on Tuesday, May 19th at 8PM (exactly!) Even my Mom was on the show and had a PBR (“it’s a little spicy!”).
(Model Chanel Ryan answered a question from the chat room while I wondered if I left my Ford Escort unlocked).
I was slugging some sweet sweet (and personally branded) PBR (which should becalled: Paap’s Blue Ribbon). Of course, every show I am joined by “El Rapisto”, Juan Fulton, and he told me that if my hair was running for President – it would get his vote. Usually we are with Jessie Schneiderman, but she was sick We missed you Shcneiderpants! However, Jess V ably filled in.
We also talked about how TheStream.TV is transitioning to Wide Screen as of June 8th, 2009, but John’s biggest concern was: “Am I going to look fatter in widescreen Stu?” “No, just Girthier”. Then John delivered 3 genius songs right on the spot in an-interactive-chat-room-centered-bit called You Supply the Song Title, including “Drunk dialing ex-girlfriends”, “Red Hot Pooper” (About Mexican food) and of course: “Love ran down your leg”
(America’s Son, John Fulton made up 7 new songs in one night - just another night.)
Next, Jeff Trail paid us a visit, then I interviewed candidate #2 for My New Friend; a Mr. Steve Tiezen (who turned out to be candidate #1, Dave Tieck, in disguise). Eventually, I got to speak with the real candidate #2, Octavia Smith, but things did not go too well (Dave and Olivia started dry humping in the lobby).
(Chanel Ryan considered a marriage proposal from a chatroomer named RockLobster35 for about 2 seconds.)
Then, we met bikini model Chanel Ryan! We discussed which coast has Costa Rican drug smugglers (hint: it’s the one near the water), plus, she told us how she’s a vegetarian but still eats at McDonald’s (it’s a technicality). Then we watched some of her Beach Moves in a video clip, we played Bedroom or Kitchen? with some naughty bits, and finally we gave away some (hopefully waterproof) Chanel Ryan playing cards and posters.
SNLorBUST.com’s Shane Hartline!
(Watch Shane tear it up on our show HERE!)
We strapped on our helmets and did some 4 wheelin’ – in a live-online-comedy-talk-show kind of way. The handsomely attired and vivacious Jessie Schniederman told us the definition of a F.U.P.A. (apparently, it’s not a Sylvester Stallone movie), Juan Fulton (which means John Fulton in English) played the 5 string tonight and I gave everyone a whiff of my musk (er… strike that).
(John and Jessie try to inhale the “contact high” in the room; doesn’t work that way.)
First up, we delivered you some good news: 6 bright spots in the economy! Then we did the chatroom’s favorite new bit: You Supply The Punchline – Star Trek Edition, (even Brian Gramo brought us a punchline from/for the nerds). After that, Jessie showed us her new look: Barcelona-hipster-meets-1976-Pennsylvania-Dutch-Country-Summer-Camp-Cheerleader, and I gave everyone a taste of Nelson, my Dad’s Ecuadorian tennis pro.
(Stu, John and Jessie point to the one pervert on the show - that’s YOU - on the roof of TheStream.TV 2.0 studios)
Next up, I decided to open my life for one more friend in a new bit called: My New Friend. First contestant was Australian Dave Tieck. His entrance was weak, and he is Australian (is that even a country?), and he was boasting a limp handshake… Needless to say, it was not looking good. But then I had him plan our perfect man-date (which involved squash – the sport – not the vegetable), and things were looking up!
(Dave Tieck tries not too hard to become my friend and I survey the results.)
Then, we powered up with 30 seconds of IM names (Someone’s name in the chatroom was: FultonYay), we welcomed Shane Hartline (SNLorBust.com), talked about his new DVD called: Skittin Across America, discussed how he’s giving proceeds to the Chris Farley Foundation, gave away some DVD’s, took some questions for Shane from the chatroom, watched Shane try to talk to an alien (Jessie ruined it), saw the Happy Dog Dance, and rounded out the interview with an improvised scene of Batman (Stu) and The Joker (Shane) arguing over Mexican food.
(Shane considers running out on the show and I grow a hand on my face).
Finally, for all the hardcore fans, we brought out Strictly Platonic! - No sex, unless we do.
Killola - LIVE (You can/should watch the full episode HERE)
We had an assless chaps full of pants full of show last night – dare I say it – we may have had too much show for one night - instant songs by John, instant messages from Australia, an online contest, interviews and a live performance by Killola!
First, Juan Fulton (that’s John Fulton to Anglophones) was back in the saddle…
…and like the Roman Emperor he claims to be, was fanning himself and eating grapes with many a young wench nearby (sorry Jessie, but wench isn’t a bad term).
Jessie was back (and by ‘back’, we mean ‘mentally sober’) from Coachella, and she told us 3 things she learned at the desert festival (spoiler alert: #1: wax your back before you go)
Also, Stu shared about his one and only awkward rubdown of a random dude on a tennis court
Dude: “Will you put some lotion on my back?” Stu: “Ummmm… sure?”
We also threw a few things into the Time Capsule: talent tv shows, the Pontiac – I’m looking at you Fiero, and the adult diaper, which, incidentally, are the three things you need to make for a great weekend.
Then, Jessie’s parents joined us in the chat room from D.C. and I tucked them into bed, we found out that we have chatroom-mates from Australia, AND we tried to stump John Fulton with “He’s a John-ius”, where he had to write instant songs from just a chatroom suggested song title, but John pulled it out with three instant classics!
“Donut hoe-down”
“I’m the best part of the show”
“Damn you homeless man for making me trip balls.”
Last but not least, we got served up a hot 360 second plate of pure speed interviews with all members of Killola (4 interviews in 6 minutes - a must see), then we did 45 seconds of IM names and FINALLY, we heard them play 2 great songs.
Nora Kirkpatrick - Dorm Life.
(Watch the full episode on www.theStream.tv)
Nora Kirkpatrick was the guest on LIVE! From the future… on April 21st, and she is a real “gamer”; she was up for anything/everything - even played some squeezebox with John!
We also have a Lame Joke Contest, check out John’s sweet guitar face (look down), visit Jessie in Nip City (just watch the show), and find out that some Jews (Schneiderman is Jewish?) enjoy eating whitefish (an ancient Indian name) from Costco (an ancient corporate name).
We also meet a Change-Bot (a bargain basement Transformer) named Ralph-Bot who tells us what the Change-Bot movie would be about, and get to witness what a Change-Bot changes into.
Plus, Nora from Dorm Life and Transformers 2 tells us why she’s never been in a fight, Stu gets a mulligan on screwing up the introduction, we find out where Dorm Life is filmed (think Buddhists), see Nora’s “Fanmail Schmanmail”, learn about being on the set for Transformers 2, find out what she would name her kids if she had 9 children (Martin Van Buren?), find out who she really wants to meet in Hollywood (Steve Martin and Martin Short, which means Steve Martin Short), and hear everyone’s horrible jokes.
NORA: Who would blow up a car of archeologists? A dino-might. STU: Why did the patio hate the porch? Cuz he was kind of being a deck. JOHN: My dad was a pistol. That makes me a son of a gun. JESSIE: What’s the difference between lesbian and a Triscuit? One likes women and the other is a cracker.
Finally, we get the chat room in on the lame joke action, get a nod only interview from Nora, find out that President Garfield had a wooden leg, hear about Nora’s favorite dinner/dessert (fish sticks and snickers?), do a short version of our show in French, and end the show with a musical duo: John on guitar and Nora on accordion play the end theme.
Pop Noir was on LIVE! From the future… last night. It was - Pop-tastic (ugh, sometimes - ok, all the time - puns are lame - but so tempting - kind of like dating a stripper).
We have a comedy-vention for Jessie (too “on the nose” baby), announce a winner from our online art contest (spoiler: it’s Jackie!), interview Joe from Pop Noir, watch live artwork being drawn by Luke and hear two LIVE songs from the band.
LIVE! From the Future…with Stuart Paap! - Pop Noir - LIVE!
Watch This Episode on www.theStream.tv
PLUS – we get a visit by Jeff Trail (Coachella?), hear about Pop Noir’s worst show ever (which involved hearing about how a drunk guy was convinced that their manager was George Michael’s bodyguard), find out what seminal means (it’s not what I thought… thanks for misleading me gay porn), and answer some questionages (sp. intended) from the chatrooms.
ALSO – we hear about the first band names (Octopus Rock! Fantastic Heat Brothers! Rough Treat! Lucky Pierre and the French Ticklers!), do the vaguest interview ever with Joe, find out what Joe and Luke McGarry have in common with Presidents Truman and Eisenhower (turns out it’s not having a latex fetish), get some album title suggestions for the debut album of the Fulltones, talk to Nico the Chilean Judas-Priest-loving drummer (albeit) very briefly, and finally… hear even more music from Pop Noir!
Photos by 
We missed you Shcneiderpants! However, Jess V ably filled in. 
