AFTER-TAR (An animation I put together with super talented people.)

Hey Friends/Loved Ones/Recreational Drunks:

At 6:55PM PST tonight, it’s your last chance to vote for mind-blowing animation of “After-Tar”

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Thanks for the support!

A brand new animation coming next week!

Gracing our studio was the excessively tall yet very humorous Brian Posehn from The Sarah Silverman Program, and the excessively long-haired yet very smart Dawn Olivieri, lately of Heroes and soon to appear in True Blood.

Watch this episode and you will learn! www.thestream.tv

We’re suckers for tall and funny guests. So actor/writer/standup comedian/recreational metal-head Brian Posehn - all 6′ 6″ of him - matched our tastes perfectly. Somehow we fit Brian into our camera frame, and managed to interview him about the recent developments in his career. For the most part, this had to do with his constant standup touring as well as his upcoming DVD Fart and Weiner Jokes (Pre-Order HERE!)

We also quizzed him about his role in The Sarah Silverman Program, starring a woman who’s at best two-thirds his size. In spite of that, Brian enjoys his role - an easy once, since most of what he’s required to do is sit around and look irate.

Brian threatens to leave the show in the middle of actually "leaving the show" at the end of his interview! (*might not be true.)

Gee, I wonder what Jessie's singing about... (Gramo likes it!)

No one’s going to challenge a tall man’s taste in movies, but that didn’t stop us from taxing Brian’s knowledge of his favorite genre. We imposed a game on him - “Horror or Porno?” - in which he had to… well, you get the point. Horror-head Brian screeched by with a win despite a few miscues (yes, Satan Lake really is a porno.)

We wrapped Brian’s segment with a bit inspired by the aching love stanzas of William Shakespeare’s sonnets, “Dirt Bag D.I.Y.” In this special how-to, Brian showed us how to make a pipe out of nothing more than a toilet paper roll and a piece of tin foil. NOTE: this does NOT imply that we condone the usage of illicit substances. Unless, of course, you have some on your person. In that case, please send it at once to our offices, specifically the blog writing department. We’ll even mention your name on air if we can somehow remember it.

Our host tries to beat Dawn in a chin-holding contest...his giant head weighed him down.

Next up was the lovely Dawn Olivieri. Dawn’s a rising star in the film and TV world, enjoying a recurring role on NBC’s Heroes and currently lensing a part as a member of a werewolf family in the HBO vampire Gothic True Blood. In between these gigs, she manages to hop around the world at least a little bit - she told us a tale or two about her experiences backpacking in Peru. No word on whether this involved full moon howling or raw meat eating, however.

With our guests, it was a horror-filled night (and no, we’re not making a sly reference to John Fulton’s frightening sweater).

So we decided to continue the theme with Dawn, attacking her mercilessly with “Horror Virgins”, a quiz in which she had to identify which actor from a multiple choice pack made their debut in a named horror movie. Dawn wasn’t too keen on the game, yet she soldiered on, nailing all of the questions she was asked.

Dawn and Stu display gang signs from their days together in the Young Hairy Lycanthropes posse.

Finally, we took her for a midnight, full moon race along our “59 Second Gauntlet”. Very few have run the full gauntlet and lived to tell the tale (come on, give us a break; we gotta hype it up somehow). Dawn made our Wall of Geniuses for finishing it, squeezing in all 16 of her answers in something like 0:58:99.99525. Now if that doesn’t make her a prize guest, what does?

LIVE! From the future... the touring musical act! We're second only behind "Abba-esque!"

Well, kinky and twisted Craigslist postings certainly would. We capped off the episode with a new edition of “Strictly Platonic”, and man, if you think werewolves and artificial blood-drinking vampires are weird, get a load of these folk. One contributor was seeking a “teacher for sexual competence” - apparently of the platonic variety - for which he was well qualified, as he’s “six feet tall. Inexperienced. Hung.” Another headline grabber was Mr. (we think) “Cunnilingus addict won’t quit!”. This gentleman or lady wrote, “Hell, there are worse things to be addicted to!”. Yes … like bad spelling. Despite his obvious passion, this person badly mangled his favorite word by spelling it “Cunningluingus”. We hope his/her technique is at least a little better.

Most of us get tough, a la Billy Idol... but for John, it brought back bad memories of the "Rebel Yell" tour.

None of this blog post is a lie… for the most part. See the evidence when you watch this episode at www.thestream.tv

Guess who’s the “BEST LIVE SHOW of 2009”? Indeed - us truly.

You can’t have cufflinks without the word “links”. Kinda makes you wonder, doesn’t it? Watch all our shows, Feedburner, Twitter, iTunes, Zune, Facebook, YouTube, IMDB, LiveFromTheFuture.com

It’s giants and heroes for our next show… the impossibly tall and extremely funny Brian Posehn, and Dawn Olivieri from TV’s Heroes.

It’s often said that movie and TV actors are a lot shorter in person than they appear to be onscreen. Well, that’s not an issue with actor/comedian/writer Brian Posehn, who at over six and a half feet has got to be one of our tallest guests ever. That isn’t the only reason to look up to him: Brian’s been a fixture on comic TV series for well over a decade and a half now. Currently appearing on The Sarah Silverman Program, Brian has many TV and movie appearances under his belt. These include specials for Comedy Central as well as recurring roles in such shows as Just Shoot Me and Mr. Show With Bob and David.

Dawn, standing at just under 5′ 10″, could give Brian a run for his money in the tall department… if she stretched another foot or so, that is. Despite this competitive disadvantage, Dawn has scored a host of wins in her acting career. You’ve seen her as Lydia in the NBC show Heroes, and you will see her in the upcoming series of HBO’s True Blood.

The regulars will also be in the neighborhood - Jessie, Juan Fulton and of course Northern Florida’s #1 above-ground pool salesman and three-time winner of the Southeast Junior Shuffleboard League’s Most Improved Player Award, Stan Vereen.

This is your new favorite network. Really. www.thestream.tv

Thanks again for voting our show: “BEST LIVE SHOW of 2009!”

A human being can never get enough links in one lifetime. Watch all our shows, Feedburner, Twitter, iTunes, Zune, Facebook, YouTube, IMDB, LiveFromTheFuture.com

We talked Icemen, entertainers named Jack and 1980s sitcoms with our new friends David Fickas and Brice Beckham of the web series The Iceman Chronicles and wholesome family short film Buttf#$%er.

Watch this episode or the Iceman will get you. Oooh, kids, that’s scary. www.thestream.tv

We’ve been doing this live internet TV show thing for a while, so we’re happy when we can bring on guests who are similarly web TV activated. David Fickas and Brice Beckham are longtime collaborators whose web series The Iceman Chronicles is building up a good amount of buzz on the internets.

Jack shows us how real guitarists play - right handed.

Speaking of a good buzz, our mainstay musical director John Fulton was absent this show - apparently his little “business trip” to Tijuana didn’t go quite as smoothly as planned. What’s the Spanish phrase for “Please allow me to visit the ATM to retrieve my bail money”, by the way? Regardless, he was replaced by his bandmate from the Fresh, Jack Voorhies. Jack got right into the spirit of things by writing and singing a lovely, heartbreaking ditty that perfectly encapsulated many moments on our show, “The Awkward Song”. Were those tears in Jessie’s eyes as she sang harmony on this tune?

Our esteemed producer LV actually laughs at one of Stu's jokes. We captured this rare and special moment on film.

Despite Jack’s newness and decency in helping us do the show, Stu decided to subject him to a trial by fire. In Live! From the Future terms, this means a round of “You Supply the Set-Up”, in which chat roomers sent in joke set-ups for Jack and Stu to complete. We’re not exactly sure who won this game; we were too busy doubled over laughing at Stu’s attempts to finish the gags.

Stu pitches a sequel to Buttf%$#er. Stu, it's not meant to be a DOCUMENTARY.

Thankfully, we had David and Brice to rescue us. Our guests took us through their long history together, first as schoolmates at USC and later as co-creators of the VH1 series I Hate My 30s. The pair, who split writing, producing, directing and acting tasks, are admirably active in the web sphere. They’ve created the very funny short video Buttfucker in addition to the currently running The Iceman Chronicles, in which David plays a goofy pathologist/veterinarian trying to figure out a puzzling murder.

David shows everyone his private technique - clearly, Brice is a bit uncomfortable with this.

David plays a smart figuring out type of person on his series, so we somehow thought it’d be appropriate if we gave he and Brice a quiz. This one, in honor of our brave musical fill-in, was entitled “You Don’t Know Jack”, and pitted our guest pair against the esteemed Mr. Voorhies.

Our guests lose their cool and threaten Stu's life - 3rd time this week, Stu.

The three guys compete in an intense staring contest. Brice won; he's still gazing at our wall several days later.

The two teams had to compete to identify a particular Jack from a set of clues; the first team/individual to answer won the round. Muddying these waters greatly was Stu, who was a little vague about the rules for calling out the answers. Hand raised? Name shouted? Answer barked? We never really figured it out (”that’s awkwaaaaard…”). Nevertheless, David and Brice took the victory, nailing the final query (”Cracker Jack”) in microseconds. Or at least we think they won; the well-bribed judges are still counting the tally cards and will have an answer “within a few years, we promise”.

Jack Voorhies, elated as usual. Comedy = tortured souls.

While Jack seethed and thought of vengeful lyrics for an “I Hate Stu” song or double album, we wrapped the show with one of our old standbys, “Strictly Platonic”. We had several winners in this edition, including a man who was willing to pay “100 Roses” for a nude lap dance (nothing erotic about that, no sir), and a person seeking his “dolphin princess” who naturally must possess “sleek rubbery skin and sonar”. Gosh, that sounds exactly like Jessie! Wow, where would the world of online dating be without us, eh?

Jessie sends one final text before transforming herself into a sea mammal in order to attract more suitable mates.

"What, you taped the WHOLE THING? That wasn't in the release form!"

Watch this episode, it’s funnier than Lost. We even have a Smog Monster! Okay, maybe not. www.thestream.tv

You voted us “BEST LIVE SHOW of 2009!”. In return, we’ll name our first four children after you… as long as you’re named “Vladislav”.

We got lots of those link thingamajigs. Watch all our shows, Feedburner, Twitter, iTunes, Zune, Facebook, YouTube, IMDB, LiveFromTheFuture.com,

LIVE! From the Future…with Stuart Paap! - Brice and David, “The Iceman Chronicles”

Watch This Episode on www.theStream.tv

We host the dangerous one-two knockout punch of writer/director/actors Brice Beckham and David Fickas.

Being the creepy stalker-type loners that we are, we sometimes find it hard to believe that artists can actually cooperate and produce interesting material together. We’ll have living proof in our studio this Tuesday when we host the team of Brice Beckham and David Fickas. Both are 30-something hyphenates, in other words guys who write, direct and often star in their own material. Their current project is the mystery/comedy (accent on the latter) web series The Iceman Chronicles, but you might have also seen them in the painfully funny web short Buttfucker. Prior to their current web efforts, David appeared in such series as I Hate My 30s and Undressed, while Brice guested on shows like Roseanne, The Wonder Years and, way back in his formative years, played one of the family members on Mr. Belvedere.

Watch our network, it gets lonely once in a while. www.thestream.tv

Thanks again for voting our show: “BEST LIVE SHOW of 2009!”

You want more? You got it! Watch all our shows, Feedburner, Twitter, iTunes, Zune, Facebook, YouTube, LiveFromTheFuture.com

Could any threesome in this world get cruder, more scatological and scarily funny than Stu, John and Jessie? Oh my, yes. Exhibit A, B and C: the Rad Girls.

Watch this - with a can of whipped cream, if possible - at www.thestream.tv

It’s unusual to find a young woman willing to pull outrageous pranks and nasty stunts involving foul bodily fluids. It’s unusual-er to happen upon three of them. Our guests for the night were the trilogy of unholy terror called the Rad Girls. The ladies - individually Ramona Ca$h, Darling Clementine and Munchie - have been described as a female version of Jackass, and have been prankstering for half a decade now.

John, Jessie and Stu, after learning how to pose from the Sears photo center.

We interviewed the girls in semi-alphabetical order, because we’re smart like that. Ramona obligingly went through the history of the troupe, filling us in on their most recent exploits. This included fun stuff like stage diving during Warped tour sets… with a fake pregnancy belly pillow. Apparently the girls really freaked out the tender 15-year olds in attendance. Hey Ramona, that’s nothing - Stu’s been doing that unintentionally for over a decade now.

She may have spelled R-A-D on her lip, but wait 'til you see where she put "GIRLS". No, not there. And not there... yes... yes, right there.

We wrapped Ramona’s segment with a tidy little blast of our “Useless Skills With…” bit. In her case, it was playing the ukulele. Somehow, we begged, borrowed or stole (probably #3) a genuine ukulele, with which she played a Hawaiian serenade. Useless? Says who? Hell, she made the Fulron jealous with her skill. That seems pretty useful to us.

Ramona orders Stu off his own show. Not the first time it's happened.

Next for a grilling was Darling Clementine. In addition to scaring the living Bejesus out of impressionable teenagers at touring punk rock concerts, Darling’s kept herself busy by nearly getting busted for impersonating a waitress. See, the girls were doing a prank at a Sonic’s restaurant, delivering odd items instead of the honest greasy hamburgers ordered by the patrons. An over-zealous cop happened to pull over and discover this horrendous crime, and he dutifully slapped the cuffs on our friend. Boy, it’s great that our tax dollars are going towards good, diligent crime fighting. This incident, to no one’s surprise (especially Stu’s), naturally occurred in the great state of Florida. Sigh.

Ramona and Clementine write notes on their "Upsetting the Public for Fun and Profit" DVD sets.

We ran Clem through our “59 Second Gauntlet”, and really, we should have added an hour or so onto it because she was painfully, painfully sluggish answering the questions. Maybe she was slow to recover from the “special” Warped tour lemonade; whatever the reason, we only got several queries deep before time ran out.

Munchie gets acquainted with her dessert, after eating a live cricket on the show. Really. No calls from PETA yet.

Last on the individual interview slab was Munchie. Can you guess how she got her nickname? It’s not because she likes crackers, kids. Munchie is an outrageously brave and determined consumer of inedible objects and substances, including but certainly nowhere near limited to her own urine and liquefied sushi cocktails. So it was probably just another day in the park for her when we requested that she eat a specially harvested Live! From the Future crawly critter. We even let her choose between a cricket and a worm. The former was her choice, and she chewed and swallowed it like a pro. Would you like some sushi juice to wash that down, Munchie?

During a tense round of "Easy, Medium or Drunk", Ramona asks for a lifeline - in the form of a beer bong.

With the individual interviews thus concluded, we gathered all three for a game show finale - “Easy, Medium or Drunk”? All three took the stage along with bottles of beer; we asked questions of them one at a time, and the other two had to chug their beer until the questionee answered. The three had mixed success with the queries (yes, Rhode Island is the smallest state in the union, but Tokyo the most populous country in the world? Really?). Mixed success was the point, as it forced the Raddesses to drink a lot, spilling their beer and forcing them to belch repeatedly.

Lest you doubt the Rad Girls can fart like no others... here's proof.

Well, that wasn’t exactly the finale.Not content with simply eating live creatures or burping loudly on-camera, the ladies decided to attack our unsuspecting director Brian. They sprayed him with whipped cream and very undelicately licked it off his face. Ah, the glamor of show business. Is this what they teach in film and TV school, Brian?

Rad Girls - on MavTV - Friday nights! Love these GIRLS!

Check out this episode. Preferably while eating a box of live crickets. www.thestream.tv

The Rad Girls want you, yes YOU! Well, to watch their adventures. They air weekly on Mav TV; here’s their website.

Thanks again for voting our show: “BEST LIVE SHOW of 2009!”

Special Thanks to our sponsor, DrinkEvo.com, who make delicious energy drinks.

You want more? You got it! Watch all our shows, Feedburner, Twitter, iTunes, Zune, Facebook, YouTube, LiveFromTheFuture.com

Our guests for the evening were actress and Canadian person Catherine Black and actor/comedian/Magic Castle insider T’Shaun Barrett.

Who can resist a nice smile like that? Certainly not us. Watch this show at www.thestream.tv.

For the first time in, oh, several shows, our core commando team of Stu, John and Jessie were in the house and working an episode together. To commemorate this increasingly special occasion, the three sang a commemorative song to open the show and greet the audience - “Hello”, in which they all, uh, sang “hello” both solo and in harmony. We have a sneaking suspicion that whoever wrote the lyrics didn’t spend a lot of time on their work. Following that, a brief recap of our three leads’ respective Valentine’s Days revealed that Stu spent the night alone thinking disturbingly sub-sexual thoughts about John’s hair. Keep the pomade far away from that man, we beg you.

John, working hard and earning his pay on another set of lyrics... ummm, maybe not.

Fabulous hair was on full display with our first guest, Canadian actress Catherine Black. True to her name and hair color, Catherine has appeared in several movies/TV shows of a dark nature. Her most recent filmic effort, the fact-based The Donner Party, concerns a group of California settlers falling prey to cannibalism in a desperate bid for survival. Since she often appears in grim material, we felt it appropriate to throw the quiz “I Goth It Right” her way. Catherine had to guess which nearby word or name was replaceable by “Goth” (e.g., “Lead singer of Van Halen - David Lee Goth”). Would anyone like a bowl of chicken goth while you read this, by the way? Ha ha. We’re such wordsmiths.

Catherine looking bright and perky, at least before we forced her to take the Goth quiz.

There was nothing Goth-y about our next guest, actor and funny guy T’Shaun Barrett. T’Shaun’s been acting and comedian-ing since his very early teens, when he scored a part in a play being performed at his dad’s church. He’s since made it into film, TV and commercials, perhaps the most known of which is the current McDonald’s spot where he plays a penny-pinching, jack-hammering husband desperate to save money.

T'Shaun challenges Stu to a ninja fight in the parking lot. Good thing Our Host stashed a pair of nunchucks in his crutches.

T’Shaun confessed to us his childhood dream of becoming a ninja, which made him a perfect candidate for our quiz game requiring deadly stealth and nerves of iron, “Power, Fame or Fatty”. T’Shaun had to identify whether a named person was a current Olympic medalist, a president of a country, or a champion competitive eater. He somehow guessed that guy who holds the record for eating the most ears of corn at one sitting, but only broke even on the overall quiz. Obviously, he isn’t ninja material after all.

Stu falls for T'Shaun's old "I just made your paycheck disappear" trick.

It’s good that he has other talents, then. We provided a deck of cards for this aspiring magician (and Magic Castle apprentice - get us in, T’Shaun!) in our segment “Useful Skills With T’Shaun Barrett”, and he correctly guessed the card Stu picked. Rumors that our Houdini for the evening put small mirrors on the suspiciously placed set of crutches used by Stu for his “foot injury” have been strenuously denied by T’Shaun’s representatives and lawyers.

John can't hide his seething, rivalrous hatred for Stu. Good thing our guests are saner.

We wrapped the episode with one of our (okay, one of Jessie’s) favorite bits, “Strictly Platonic”. This edition of our old chestnut included lovelorn posts from one man with “all sorts of crazy fantasies about being a gay slut” and another who’s offering women to “meet for coffee i could rub your feet their or out in public”. This gentleman is particularly generous - “YES IT FREE” he writes.

Go ahead and watch this show. YES IT FREE. www.thestream.tv

Quick: who’s Clicker.com’s best of 2009 in the live TV category? We’ll give you a hint - us! Damn, we accidentally gave it away.

More links: past shows, Feedburner, Twitter, iTunes, Zune, Facebook, LiveFromTheFuture.com, IMDB

This Tuesday (the 16th, for those of you scoring at home) we welcome actress Catherine Black and actor/funny guy T’Shaun Barrett.

Have you ever eaten anyone? Your best friend in a moment of delusional hunger, for example, or maybe an annoying neighbor who ultimately ended up being delicious in a lightly spiced brown sauce? Well, if so, our first guest’s new movie might just be the one for you. Canadian actress Catherine Black is our first guest, and her most recent filmic effort, The Donner Party, is a based-on-fact story about a group of California settlers who resort to cannibalism to survive a tough winter. This isn’t Catherine’s first involvement with dark, slice-n-dice material; she also had a role as an acquaintance of Christian Bale’s smooth serial killer in the movie adaptation of the infamous American Psycho. Naturally, Catherine’s also got a host of other acting credits, including appearances in Loser, Showtime’s Odyssey 5 and Letters to a Street Child.

Our other guest of the night, T’Shaun Barrett, is probably not going to cook and eat anyone any time soon. This is because he’s a comedian, and cannibalism and comedy generally don’t co-exist too comfortably. Additionally, he’d probably put his gig as the McDonald’s Jackhammer Guy in a series of recent commercials in jeopardy, and man, you don’t want to mess with the Golden Arches. When he’s not helping convince America to buy cheeseburgers, T’Shaun is a regular at LA’s two big comedy clubs, The Laugh Factory and The Comedy Store. If he’s got time outside those gigs, he has a standing invitation to return to radio’s The Jamie Foxx Show anytime he chooses. Oh, and there are also those appearances on big-name shows such as Grey’s Anatomy, Numb3rs, Without a Trace, Medium, ER and So Notorious and movies like Barbershop 2. Hopefully he’ll have enough time for us, Stu, Jessie and the Fulron on Live! From the Future. Or else we might just have to eat an intern or two.

Watch TV, it’s good for you. Better yet, watch our network. www.thestream.tv

Guess who’s clicker.com’s best of 2009 in the live TV category? No, not Katie Couric. Us! Wheee! Where’s the cake and soda pop?

More links: past shows, Feedburner, Twitter, iTunes, Zune, Facebook, LiveFromTheFuture.com, IMDB